Separation Anxiety

Separating from a parent or caregiver can be very stressful on a child.  It is important that we remember that separating from a parent or caregiver is a process and a skill that needs to be taught and learned.  For a child who hasn't had to separate, a parent leaving can be very scary.  In their little minds, they may be worried that mom or dad won't be coming back.  We need to acknowledge what the infant/child is feeling and let them know that it is normal.  When trying to separate, don't push it.  Gradually decrease the amount of time spent with the child prior to separation.  If possible, begin by spending the day (in the case of daycare or preschool) or time period (in the case of ECFE) with your child following the routine, modeling the behavior and talking about what they are doing or playing.  Make sure to follow the routine.  Grandually shorten the period of time spent with your child in the classroom.  Stay for all but 5 minutes and then explain to your child where you are going and when you will be back.  Reinforce that the child will be safe while the parent is gone and then leave.  Eventually, separating will become easier for the child and the parent.  Remember, this is a process and a skill that needs to be taught and learned.  It won't be solved over night but, with support, your child will become more comfortable with you leaving and they will understand that they are going to be safe and that you will always come back for them.